A Word for Wednesday-sacrifice

 1 John 4:10  This is love:  not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 3:16  This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay day our lives for our brothers and sisters.

sac·ri·fice

noun \ˈsa-krə-ˌfīs, also -fəs or -ˌfīz\ : the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone

• the older brother who forgoes college so his younger brother can go
• the single mom who doesn't eat so her children will have enough
• the dad who refuses to act dishonestly at work so his children will know integrity
• the college student who hangs on to his virginity instead of a relationship.

 that's just a few really big sacrifices that come to my mind.

but sometimes I really have a hard time with this word.  Not that i don't want to sacrifice for others.  not that i don't want to give.  i do.  i really really do.  but a true sacrifice means I do without.  i give something up.  that's where the problem comes in.
 
i've never been truly hungry.  i've never NOT gotten a Christmas present.  i've never really and truly done without anything i really and truly wanted. i give away my leftovers, my discards, my "gently used" junk.

Sure, i give to my church and to charity and to special needs that arise.  (i've learned lately that generosity must be a budgeted line item) . . . but Marla gets what Marla wants. so where's the sacrifice?  

granted,  i gave some stuff away during our SEVEN study and no, i haven't just replaced it all . . . not yet.  but i catch myself hinting (ok, flat out asking) for stuff i just NEED (eyeroll) so very bad. My birthday's coming up you know.  

In the Old Testament, a sacrifice died.  Something indeed had to be lost, given up.  not the leftovers either!  not the runt that wouldn't bring much at market.  (and btw, why do we "donate" our broken junk that wouldn't sell at a yard sale to the church??)  a sacrifice had to be perfect.  the best.  the first.  and then it died.  Jesus. Perfect. Holy. Worthy. and then He died. 

 In light of Christ's sacrifice for me, how can i even think what that looks like for me on a daily basis?
(and now we come to the part of the blog where i'm supposed to come up with this eloquent answer to the whole deal.  good luck with that)

 Paul says in Romans 12 we're to BE a LIVING sacrifice--"This is true and proper worship."
Something still dies though.  my self, my will, my wants, my sin.  living in an attitude of praise, in step with His will, His wants, His ways. 

I'm still struggling with the whole giving up part.  what counts and what is just not even. . .(that's kinda like that "i can't even" phrase that's so cute right now-but if you have to explain it...i can't even)